Laughing at Men

I have fallen into disrespecting those men in my life that I hold most dear. I laugh in their face, I doubt their words, I brush aside the qualities they possess, I paint their faults in caricature when the truth would make me look pathetic, and I rationalize away their maturity because they fall short of perfection.

I don't want to do this, of course. Yet I still make that volitional choice to disrespect them, especially when it serves my own purposes, but so it is with all sins. I stab a knife in their back because I am close enough to do so, but I wish all the while that I could step outside of this sinful self and view them with the eyes of grace – oh to see the world like the eyes of Jesus that gaze on me with love despite my numerous faults.

Why is it that I have such a difficult time respecting those men that are in my life? I won't make the mistake of saying that it's only an issue with guys my age or younger that I can “excuse” my disrespect by their lack of maturity. It extends to professors, brothers, uncles, and other men that are most certainly more mature than I. The conclusion then: It has absolutely nothing to do with their level of maturity, and entirely with mine.

Respect is given, not earned.

I must believe that every man and woman is worthy of my respect at the very core of his or her being. But with men it is all so much harder, and the Scriptures certainly attest to that! We idealize men in many ways, and expect them to give us certain things which simply are not theirs to give. It is not that they are always falling short of their intended purpose, for we assign them purposes that only God can satisfy. But, of course, we fail to recognize this (or take it to heart even if we “know” it) and so when we see a man that we really admired and he doesn't meet our hopes, we tear him down. It's not about “settling,” so much as realizing the true nature of humanity, ourselves included.

A man should have ideals, but he will not be ideal.

Respect also should be given during the times when a man doesn't meet any of his intended purposes. Drive this into your heart! Think of a man whom you are close to. Then understand that he was created with talents, callings, drives and the ability to relate to and hear God. Let that sink in. He was created for so much. Sin, unfortunately, barricades you, others, and even himself, from experiencing the true creation. All the hopes we built up come crashing down, and sometimes that is because we mistake what (or who) that man is intended for. Men can injure us in ways that women cannot (speaking from the viewpoint of a girl, because the opposite is true as well) and we should not deny the wrong, but acknowledge and forgive it. Seek to build up the men in your life, because they are far more than you realize.

Faults should be heartbreaking, not heart-hardening.

If they were not ultimately created for so much, faults would be less piercing. No one cares about an ugly painting thrown in the trash (especially if it is Aunt Louisa's favorite that you've been trying to get rid of for years), but with a beautiful masterpiece one hates to see even a drop of water mar its surface. This hope we have: God is leading our men quite as much as he is leading us. Rejoice in every work of God that you see in their lives, which has to be pretty intentional when God isn't leading them where you want them to go.

Please, please. Respect the men in your life and have confidence that God's will is being done through (and not in spite of) them, just as he is accomplishing his will through your life.