Laughing at Men

I have fallen into disrespecting those men in my life that I hold most dear. I laugh in their face, I doubt their words, I brush aside the qualities they possess, I paint their faults in caricature when the truth would make me look pathetic, and I rationalize away their maturity because they fall short of perfection.

I don't want to do this, of course. Yet I still make that volitional choice to disrespect them, especially when it serves my own purposes, but so it is with all sins. I stab a knife in their back because I am close enough to do so, but I wish all the while that I could step outside of this sinful self and view them with the eyes of grace – oh to see the world like the eyes of Jesus that gaze on me with love despite my numerous faults.

Why is it that I have such a difficult time respecting those men that are in my life? I won't make the mistake of saying that it's only an issue with guys my age or younger that I can “excuse” my disrespect by their lack of maturity. It extends to professors, brothers, uncles, and other men that are most certainly more mature than I. The conclusion then: It has absolutely nothing to do with their level of maturity, and entirely with mine.

Respect is given, not earned.

I must believe that every man and woman is worthy of my respect at the very core of his or her being. But with men it is all so much harder, and the Scriptures certainly attest to that! We idealize men in many ways, and expect them to give us certain things which simply are not theirs to give. It is not that they are always falling short of their intended purpose, for we assign them purposes that only God can satisfy. But, of course, we fail to recognize this (or take it to heart even if we “know” it) and so when we see a man that we really admired and he doesn't meet our hopes, we tear him down. It's not about “settling,” so much as realizing the true nature of humanity, ourselves included.

A man should have ideals, but he will not be ideal.

Respect also should be given during the times when a man doesn't meet any of his intended purposes. Drive this into your heart! Think of a man whom you are close to. Then understand that he was created with talents, callings, drives and the ability to relate to and hear God. Let that sink in. He was created for so much. Sin, unfortunately, barricades you, others, and even himself, from experiencing the true creation. All the hopes we built up come crashing down, and sometimes that is because we mistake what (or who) that man is intended for. Men can injure us in ways that women cannot (speaking from the viewpoint of a girl, because the opposite is true as well) and we should not deny the wrong, but acknowledge and forgive it. Seek to build up the men in your life, because they are far more than you realize.

Faults should be heartbreaking, not heart-hardening.

If they were not ultimately created for so much, faults would be less piercing. No one cares about an ugly painting thrown in the trash (especially if it is Aunt Louisa's favorite that you've been trying to get rid of for years), but with a beautiful masterpiece one hates to see even a drop of water mar its surface. This hope we have: God is leading our men quite as much as he is leading us. Rejoice in every work of God that you see in their lives, which has to be pretty intentional when God isn't leading them where you want them to go.

Please, please. Respect the men in your life and have confidence that God's will is being done through (and not in spite of) them, just as he is accomplishing his will through your life.

work work work work work work work work work work work work work work

     Work is a surprisingly divisive subject, and most views are incredibly destructive, including the common “Christian” dichotomy. How pitiful that we short-list God into the truly

valuable callings, which we have named “Full-time Christian Ministry.” There is no such differentiation! If there is, then at all costs avoid being a pastor or missionary, since people are driven away from the gospel by their ignorance of beauty, lack of transparency, disregard for those with other vocations, and the sad truth that many PKs and MKs fall into sterility and diffidence, if not worse. No, all vocations are a calling, and are inherently gospel-centered if conducted in view of our complete restoration from the fall.

     Fine, then. All vocations are equally important. But doesn't that merely form an excuse not to share the gospel outright?!

Three points come to mind:

1. We talk about sharing the gospel, which then leads people to be saved from future separation from Christ, and for them in turn to do the same (Everyone, reach one!). So the gospel is reduced to a chain letter instead of LIFE, the ability to be fully human again, to delight in God and His creation because of the death of Christ.
2. People do not arbitrarily come to the gospel. We speak and write and proclaim the “God sized hole in everyone's heart,” but it doesn't mean that when people hear the good news they simply say “Yes! This is what I have been looking for all my life!” Why should the death of a man 2000 years ago – simply carrying the promise of a future spent with a God we do not know or care about – matter to anyone? Our modern experience fools us into thinking that “knowing” can be separated from “knowing experientially.” If we want people to know God it must be made manifest to them through our lives, the natural continuation of Jesus' manifestation.
3. I have found that those who are the most likely to speak of the importance of explicitly “sharing the Gospel,” are the very same whose lives I cry over. Moreover, they stress the gospel by saying “I seem to be ashamed of Christ, I ought to share the gospel more.” Is your initiative for the gospel because you feel guilty and ashamed of your lack of desire to serve God?

     There is so much more to be said about particular callings! Each person can interact with his or her vocation so that individual talents and passions are brought to bear. Life is so much richer and fuller when you see the extraordinary opportunities we are given for helping people understand the entirety of the gospel, at work, in your home, alongside your spouse, or with your kids, to name a few!

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     Other people tolerate their job as a necessary nuisance, a way of earning a living, and a tedious consequence of the Fall. [. . .] This second attitude to work, which regards it as either meaningless in itself, or at best a necessary means to some quite different end (e.g., facilitating leisure pursuits), is the same in principle as the view held by some Christians that work is a useful sphere of witness. To be sure, the Christian should be a witness to Christ in every situation, but it is very inadequate to see the workplace as having no Christian significance in itself, but only as a well-stocked lake to fish in (pp. 16).

~ John Stott, Our Social and Sexual Revolution. 

     First, work is intended for the fulfillment of the worker. That is, as important part of our self-fulfillment as human beings is to be found, according to God's purpose, in our work. We can affirm this with confidence in view of the very first instruction which God addressed to man and woman: 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it' (Genesis 1:28). Here are three successive commands, each leading logically to the next. They could not subdue the earth without first filling it, and they could not fill it without first reproducing themselves. This original and composite commandment expresses, then, a basic aspect of our vocation as human beings. Our dominion over nature is due to our likeness to God. Or, to express the same truth in different terms, our potential for creative work is an essential part of our Godlikeness. Our Creator made us creative creatures (pp. 17).

~ John Stott, Our Social and Sexual Revolution. 

     Human beings are very unbalanced and prone to go off on tangents. In every area of life - with too great emphasis on one thing, leaving out another important thing altogether. None of us will ever be perfectly balanced in our spiritual lives, our intellectual lives, our emotional lives, our family lives, in relationships with other human beings, or in our business lives. BUT WE ARE CHALLENGED TO TRY, WITH THE HELP OF GOD. We are meant to live in the scriptures.
~ Edith Schaeffer, What is a Family

     It is true that all men are created in the image of God, but Christians are supposed to be conscious of that fact, and being conscious of it should recognize the importance of living artistically, aesthetically, and creatively, as creative creatures of the Creator. If we have been created in the image of an Artist, then we should look for expressions of artistry, and be sensitive to beauty, responsive to what has been created for us.

~ Edith Schaeffer, The Hidden Art of Homemaking 

Value in resting, or resting in value?

     Life is full of curiosities, adventures, heartbreaks, surprises. But somehow in the end, life can settle into a exhausting battle of day after day. I get tired of fighting against my harmful tendencies. I have ideals and dreams for the future, projects that I want to complete, characteristics that I desire to cultivate – yet nothing seems to really change, and that's why I give in.

     Yet I'm sitting here now in my living room, surrounded by a couple nephews, three napping dogs, three dear visiting sister-friends, my brother and his wife. It has been an exhausting two weeks of traveling, and at the moment I am not capable of exerting my will to change anything, and vacillating between wondering if I can ever live with purpose and surrender to God, and feeling that despite my weak nature God is remarkably kind and delights in me. This is the sort of rest I'm looking for.

     I work hard at doing what God delights in, whether it be schoolwork, relationships with friends and family or trying to create an environment of grace and beauty for those I love. But the hard work is not what makes me weary or disappointed in myself and despairing of lasting change. The lack of desire to serve God has an inverse relationship with being utterly confident that I have been placed exactly in time and history with my particular “selfness,” life experiences, vocation and relationship to others. I do not have to strive for my position with others or with God.

     Is God not transcendent? Is He not gentle? Is He not omnipotent? Is He not merciful? Is He not wise? It is only my own pride that sets up my actions as the determining factor of how much God delights in me, or how valuable I am to other people.

A great sermon to listen to is Tim Keller's “Blessed Self-Forgetfulness.”

~ ~ ~

Unless the Lord builds the house,

those who build it labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,

the watchman stays awake in vain.

It is in vain that you rise up early

and go late to rest,

eating the bread of anxious toil;

for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Psalm 127:1-2

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Crazy Mirrors

     

     I've always thought that I knew what it meant to be made in the image of God, but my construct was shaken slightly during a discussion in my Readings in Classic Christian Spirituality class this past semester. One of my classmates kept pressing us to find a definition that can be applied to unborn babies and those with mental deficiencies. It was more difficult than I anticipated and I never reached an answer that I was satisfied with.

     Usually the definition that I use is that we, unlike the rest of creation, have the capacity to be creative, to plan and execute, to communicate at a high level, and to make choices, etc. But my classmate pressed me to apply those to an unborn baby. I argued that it is the capacity that delineates us from animals, but that seemed an insufficient explanation to both of us.

     Then over Christmas, my brother Jack (I believe it was him, I had a plethora of conversations with my siblings, so I can't be sure :P) and I began talking about mirroring the image of God. Comparing ourselves to a mirror is nothing new, of course. But what got me was that the reason we can reflect God is because we are spiritual beings, unlike the animals. In a way, it is about capacity. Yet we are separated from exercising this ability fully, like one of those crazy mirrors that skews the image drastically. . .the image is still there, but isn't accurate. The beauty of the gospel is that Christ once again made it possible for us to reflect God undistorted.

I later included in my customary written prayers:

The idea of the mirror as the image of God really changed my definition. That because we are the only spiritual beings here on earth, we are the only things capable of reflecting you. How marvelous!

     And it really is marvelous, isn't it? The implications are dazzlingly pervasive in the way we view each other and view ourselves. For instance, it is what allows me to acknowledge my strengths and those of others without usurping God of his glory – indeed, exactly the opposite!

~ ~ ~

     We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from seeing the end of what was passing away. But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Cor 3:13-18